Sunday, October 7, 2007

True refreshment

Ahh, church. It's so nice to be there. I finally was able to attend our church's worship service today. It's been so long, too long. I've either had sick kids, sick self, nursery duty, or been out of town. For me worship is like a refreshing stream that washes over me. Is that just because my kids are being taken care of in another room? No, it's the refreshment that comes from being in a place that I love surrounded by so many people that are like family to me. It's a place that I get refreshed and renewed. Where I remember what my true desires are and who I really want to be.

Today's service was the monthly communion service and Pastor gave the communion message. I was teary eyed when he spoke about how excited they were about their 6 year old daughter 'joining the family' of Christ by asking Jesus into her heart this month. He also mentioned about how sometimes folks tell him they feel uncomfortable going to our church because everyone there is so perfect. He said that he responds by saying, "You must be new." I laughed because I know the truth about myself. I know that there are so many things that I screw up on. Just this week I yelled, more like screamed, at my daughter in anger as I was trying to discipline her for not acting out in her anger. I just get this feeling that someone could be watching the scene and say, "Okay, she's two years old....what's your excuse?"

I have so much to learn and going to church reminds me of that. Being reminded of your faults and sins can really get you depressed. But services, especially like the one today, surprisingly don't make me depressed. I can look around at all the other people there and know that they are just like me. We are all on the same level when it comes to God. We all screw up. I eat the bread and drink the wine (grape juice at our church) and remember that Jesus knows all my faults and he STILL died for me.

That is amazing and makes even my messy life beautiful.

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