Friday, February 15, 2008

Adios Dora

Dora came to the UF Gymnastics Meet Friday night. Oh, and Boots too. A had been looking forward to it for a week since Hubby mentioned it to her. But we didn't go.


Her behavior Friday was just atrocious and I couldn't justify taking her. There were plenty of excuses for her like she's not been feeling well, or it could be because she'd been cooped up in the house all day, or because she had too much Valentine's day candy. But it really was a difficult day and I really start to doubt my parenting on days like that.


Speaking of candy, that's where it started off. She wanted a snack and I offered to make her some special trail mix, just some Cheerio's, peanuts and I was going to mix in the little bag of mini M&Ms she got at school. But she didn't want the M&Ms mixed in, so when I handed her the bowl she shook it up and it spilled all over the place. I took it all away from her and told her she couldn't have the M&Ms now because of her actions. So then she decides she's going to 'change her attitude' like we've suggested and says she's going to obey, but when I tell her there are still consequences and she's not getting the M&Ms at all she goes into a tail spin, kicking and yelling and throwing. So off to her room so she (and I) can cool off and she ends up hitting G while I am in the other room. That was just the beginning, she continued to argue, sass, whine, hit, and tantrum through the day.

I just wonder, is this all normal behavior for a 3 year old? Or have I let my daughter run wild and now I'm reaping the consequences? I'm sure I've failed along the way, but my general intentions are to raise her and G to be respectable people. What am I doing wrong? I just have to ask myself on days like that. My daughter seems to sass more than other kids I know. She'll tell me, "don't tell me no" or "you can't tell me what to do" just like she's a teenager. Sometimes I just am flabbergasted.

Now today started off just the opposite, she came in our room too early, 5:55, and asked if it was morning. I said no and she said, 'okay I'll just go back to my room' and slept another hour. Whoa. Okay, I'll take that! And then she did a great job at playgroup today and has been a good girl most of the day, avoiding tantrums and being generally agreeable. Sometimes I see a glimmer of hope that she won't always be 3 years old and I'll really enjoy her personality and being with her. Not that I don't enjoy her now, but when your child kicks you in the face while throwing a tantrum, it's quite easy to forget all the cute and sweet things she was saying and doing 10 minutes prior.

My conclusion is that she just has her good days and bad days and I need to try and be consistent with her on either type of day.

3 comments:

waldenhouse said...

Adolesence is often referred to as the "second toddlerhood" by child development specialists. There are lots of similarities between these two life phases - self centeredness and "I know better than mom" are just a slice of the pie. They even say there is a very strong chemical similarity. It is interesting. And scary. Hang in there.

The Singleton Family said...

Lark,
It's all normal. I hope that's comforting, though I know the idea of going through this over and over may be overwhelming. Just stick to your boundaries and in time you will be able to speak truth to her regarding her choices and how they do or do not reflect our Lord and Savior! If you think the threes are rough... just wait for the fours! Debating becomes a real charm at 4 when they can articulate and reason. :-) Love to you!

Burless Family said...

Lark, you are not alone! We are struggling here with Katelyn. We sailed through the "terrible twos" and thought we had come through with flying colors, only to find out threes are the worst!! I have days when I think I have got to be the worst mother in the world...who's kid would behave like this? It's very trying. The defiance is driving us crazy, but we keep on with the consequences. There are days we have several time outs and a spanking before 8am!! Hang in there..it's normal.