Friday, January 16, 2009

Oh the land of potty training....

....where there is always a load of laundry going and the carpet cleaner doesn't have time to get put away. This is the land that I've been living in the last week and I'm reminded that potty training is probably my least favorite part of motherhood.

Give me pregnancy hormones, give me nursing, give me spit up all over my clothes. I don't know what it is about potty training that just gets under my skin but it's pretty bad. I can go from 'good mom' to 'freaking out I must leave my house mom' in zero to three wet pants. I called Hubby the other day to vent and found myself yelling at him because he was offering suggestions of things for me to try. Suggestions! What was he thinking?! The nerve.

The only other thing I wouldn't trade it for is sleep training. Waking up in the night is a form of torture and it makes me into a weak bad mom, my natural state without 100% of my mental facilities and self-control. What is it with these training things, teaching our kids something new and then getting frustrated when they aren't getting it right. Like we should just be able to tell them once and POOF they are good to go. G's been peeing in his diaper for 2 years now and all of a sudden we don't want him to do that anymore. I'm sure it's going to take a while to understand that. The books don't help though when I'm perusing through "Potty training in less than a day" and reading other accounts of moms who used this method and only had 2 accidents. What kind of kids are these? Really, are there kids out there with such temperaments that they just are calm and accepting of what their parents want them to do? Both my kids buck at pretty much everything I tell them to do.

So potty training came along for G last fall when I borrowed a "Potty Scotty" doll from some friends. I was just bringing it inside the house to put away until he was ready, but he wanted to play with it and so I ended up doing the training with him that day since he seemed interested and eager. He got the hang of it right away and showed that he was able to control when he went and went on the potty 2 or 3 times that morning without accidents. Then that afternoon I changed 10 wet pants and told myself that even if he was ready, I was not ready to deal with it and decided to put if off until the new year.

Well, here we are and our guy vehemently didn't want to put his diaper on the other day. He loves to run naked through the house, but we don't want him peeing all over the place. So we asked if he wanted to wear underwear and he did. So since then we've been going full force with the training and it is wearing me down. It's tough when you just don't see a light at the end of the tunnel telling you you are almost there. I told Hubby that it would be about 2 weeks of wet pants all the time and 1 week of those weeks is up.

Plus this boy potty thing is totally throwing me off. That thing is like a fire hose going all over the place and not much of it actually in the potty. I'm not talking about when he stands, when he sits too. It took a week of working with him until Hubby finally told me that he has to point it down when he's sitting. Weeeeell GEE! Thanks for informing me of that, I don't know how to work those things!

Today we borrowed a potty with a type of 'shield' in the front to help the pee from going all over the place and that has really helped. I must persevere! And I must get some training pants for when we go out places. Today we went out shopping and he did a great job, at first. He used the potty when I went at Bed Bath and Beyond and then went again when we were at the mall. I must have underestimated how much he'd had to drink because I thought he'd be okay for a while...but then I saw him pulling his pants down on the mall playground. I must have looked like superwoman jumping up from my seat, I didn't even bother to put on the shoe that I'd taken off. There I was, dashing across the cushy floor with one heeled loafer and knocked down a kid in the process. When I got there he had his pants down and the stream was flowing. I kept saying, "No, no! Tell it not to come out!" And then I knew how my dad must have felt when he and my sister went on the Gravatron ride and she started puking. He just put his hands out to catch all her vomit and I did my best to 'catch' what he was weeweeing. As I saw that wasn't working I lifted him up and out of the playground onto the mall tile so at least the mess could be cleaned easily.

Ahh, motherhood, the things you learn that you can do.


waldenhouse said...

Sounds so uninviting. I think I am going to wait until Timothy is 5. Luke spoiled me on this one!

Julie Peine said...

Praying for you. I hated it with Rosemary, dreading it with Ben.

Milla said...

This is so, so funny. I haven't done potty training so I can't completely relate, but I have dealt with puppy training! Does that count!

You are very, very good at telling very funny stories, Lark!